What I thought:
WARNING: THIS BOOK IS A RIOT! IT WILL HAVE YOU LAUGHING OUT LOUD, SHOCK YOU AND MAKE YOU UNABLE TO PUT THE DAMN THING DOWN.
As soon as reviews started appearing on my Twitter feed about this book, I knew I had to have it. It sounded hilarious and although I have learned to be a little dubious about books that are marketed as “a cross between x and x”, in this case, it is totally warranted. Bridget Jones really does meet Dexter, and what a joyous combination they are!
Rhiannon, aka Sweetpea, writes about her life in a diary. She moans about her boyfriend, her weight, her friends who do nothing but talk about weddings and babies, her dull job and the array of off characters she has to work with. That all sounds rather normal, right? Well yes, except that Rhiannon always starts her diary entries with a list of people she would like to kill:
“People who chat at the cashier in the supermarket, even though there’s a queue behind them – I’m all for being pleasant when you’re packing your bag, but when the card’s been pulled out or the change has been given, kindly fuck off. Don’t linger and talk about your kid’s Easter play or your operation. AND DON’T THANK ME FOR WAITING. I DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE!”
The above quotation is one of the milder comments from this book. There is dark humour and then there is black-as-coal humour and this definitely falls into the latter. Even I, who can F and blind with the best of them and am not easily offended, let out a slow whistle on the odd occasion. This book is dark, it’s crude, it’s shameless, it’s but it’s utterly and absolutely freaking hilarious!
Rhiannon is a psychopath and a serial killer. She spends her life reminding herself of “The Act” – how she has learned to be normal around other people so as not to raise suspicion – when in fact most of the time she is reminiscing about one of her kills or plotting her next one. But yet, despite this, I loved Rhiannon. Loved her! She is a riot of sarcasm, profanity and grumbles about much of the same things that annoy the rest of us (or is that just me?).
“1. Cold callers – I swear a circle of Dante’s Inferno is missing some inhabitants.
2. Those self-righteous people who brag about not throwing anything away for an entire year – how do you recycle your fanny rags? Seriously?
3. Whoever sits in my office chair when I’m not there and adjusts the height.”
“Bought an iced bun on the way to lunch but it turned out to be a depressingly bad iced bun. You would think there’s no such thing – it’s just a bun and icing, right?
For a start it was stale and there was a live fruit fly stuck to one end. And if that wasn’t enough, half of my icing was stuck on the bun next to it in the window and the bitch with the tongs never even scraped it off and put it back on mine. So rude.”
And then there are gems like this:
“Believe it or not, this is not the most awkward I’ve ever been around Jim and Elaine. I had food poisoning once at their house one Christmas – I was up all night in their bathroom, Jackson Pollocking the ceramic and letting off excruciatingly loud farts. At one point Jim came in and asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. My mouth tried to answer but my arsehole beat him to it.”
I don’t normally do star ratings on my blog but as I am required to on sites like Amazon and Goodreads, I initially thought I would give this a 4-star rating, purely based on my opinion that Sweetpea ended with a whimper rather than a bang and left me wanting. However, having thought about it, I am still going to go with 5 stars, as apart from that I loved every minute of reading this book.
Sexually explicit, graphic, stabby, and not for the feint of heart. Utterly brilliant!!!
I received a copy of this book via HQ and Netgalley in return for an honest review.
Have you met Sweetpea yet? Dare you????